I am Bob and this is my heart

Downward Spiral

2005-10-13T01:13:00Z

I'm finished burning 30 copies of my latest mix cd, and ready to start shipping them out. Well, sort of, I still need to get copies made of the artwork for it...but soon, very, very soon. I'm bored again. To an excessive point. The lack of things to do has provided plenty of time to think about myself, my current situation, and what next. And so far, I don't like the decisions that I've been making. Luckily, pool season is once again upon us, and for at least one night a week, I get to go out and forget all of the bullshit. Hallelujah!!!! (sp?) I've already started on my next mixes, and sorry, these are kinda personal. I'm making mixes for all of my random moods. Right now, oddly enough, I'm working on an angry mix. All very fast, heavy, angry songs, that I know the words to enough, that I can sing along. Probably not the most constructive way to pass the time, but what else do I have?? I need to get back to working on me again. I need to get back to where I'm comfortable being alone again. I've already started telling people not to touch me. Twice today, I just don't want people to touch me. I'd rather not have to deal with it. Everything seems to suck right now....sorry about the whining, but, it's what I do.

bobrox123 @ 2005-08-02T23:23:00

2005-08-03T03:33:10Z

Love is dead, all that is left is convenience.....

It seems that everyone I know is sad. Everyone feels alone, unloved, unneeded. I wish that I could help everyone, and that maybe one of them could help me. I've been calling myself the mechanimal again, the unlovable. And I've found myself blocking many people out lately. I thought that I was past that; but, perhaps using it as my defense-mechanism for so long makes it harder to be rid of. I've felt violent and seclusive. I need to get out, I need to do something.

Me

2005-05-22T22:43:17Z

So, I've been having trouble thinking of something to put in this damned thing. So, I decided to give a little look at my life. My past will come later, I thought that I'd start with the present.

Currently, I'm a chef with ::a large corporate entity which can remain nameless::. I, of course, hate my job; but, cannot see any changes in the near future. I also, do not like my current living situation, but do not see any changes for that either. I'm very much into the Indie-Music scene. I go to a lot of concerts, and involve myself as much as possible in the rock and roll lifestyle. I listen to the greatest station in all the world, unfortuinately, it's not on the radio anymore, but can be found at woxy.com. I have many friends, but only a few that I hold dear. I love each of them more than any of them will ever know. As far as pets, I have a cat, Jasmine, she may be evil, but I love her. I have not been in a relationship in a long time, and can become quite lonely at times. I only drink on occasion, and rarely get drunk. I do not do any drugs, and never have. While I do not have any children of my own, I seem to get along with every child I meet. They seem to see me as a big jungle gym. It's fun. I use quotes alot, to explain myself and to mask my feelings with joking comments. I tend to be overly critical, of myself and of others. Well, I think that I've wasted enough time. I'll enter more soon.